Dear Diary - Intro

Dear Diary,

My name is Shamsa which refers to the sun or something that is like the sun in its brilliance and radiance in Arabic. As a child my friends and family called me Sunshine or Sunlight. People around me always tell me that there is a radiance of light surrounding me when I smile or laugh but to be honest I disagree with that.
If only they knew .. If only they knew how dark my soul and feelings are.. All because of him.. He did this to me.. I was once the happiest girl in the world, with the biggest smile you will ever see. Always laughing without a care in this cruel world.

Anyways, let me tell you a little about myself, I am a typical Emirati girl from one of the wealthiest families in the UAE. I just recently turned 20 and I am in my second year of college. Onto the physical description, I have the typical Emirati features, long and straight jet black hair, big brown eyes, a think nose and small pink lips. I have a cheeky face and I am average weight and height.

So basically you'd say that I'm pretty much the average girl who wished to fall in love with prince charming and live happily ever after. Wrong. I am the complete and utter opposite of that. Why? Because I don't believe in love, I don't believe in happy endings, well not anymore atleast. But I do believe in karma :)

This is my story.. So why don't I start from the beginning eh? It all started when I was only 13 years old. My parents recently got a divorce which is understandable because my dad being the inconsiderate b****rd he was, cheated on my mom with another gold-digging b***h.  As a little girl, I'd always be so torn when I saw or heard my parents fighting, which would result with my mom crying her heart out in secret. I always wondered what was the cause for my mom and dad's endless fights and then I knew, the day I turned 13 was the day my world went crashing downhill. I still remember it as if it was yesterday.

*Flashback*

Me: Mama! Mama! When is Baba coming home? My party started 3 hours ago and he still didn't show up ): 
Mom: 7beebty Shamasi Baba biyit2a5ar shway, 3nda sh'3il fil maktab. 
Me: Bs Mama it's my birthday and he's not here!
Mom: I know baby, I know 7beebty. Sho rayich itseereen bara3 w til3ibein wya rbee3atich?
Me: Inshallah Mama. I love you :*
Mom: Smiles a small sad smile I love you too my baby :* 


He never ended up showing up. I cried my self to sleep that day..on my birthday! How could he miss his only daughters' birthday? How could he?! After that day, was a never-ending cycle of my dad missing birthday parties, celebrations, school plays and graduations. From that day onward was the beginning of my parents never-ending fights. I always blamed myself to be the reason as to why they got a divorce. Always until that day..The day I worked up the courage to ask my mom what really happened..

*Flashback*

I had just come back from school.. I've been thinking of asking my mom this question from a week.
Me: Slam3laikum Mama 
Mom: Halla bnayati. Halla 7beebty. How was school? 
Me: *No Answer*
Mom: Shamsa blach sar7ana? 3an sho itfakreen?
Me: Haa? Umm asfa mama sho gelty?
Mom: Shamsa sho feech 7beebty? Shay istiwa fil mdrisah?
Me: La mama wla shay istiwa .. Umm mama?
Mom: Na3am 7beebty? 5air sho mistiwi? 5breeni sho m'6ayginich
Me: *frowning* Mama ... What happened? *long pause* Why did you and baba get a divorce?
Mom: *shocked* Shamsa.. Me and your father just didn't work well together.. We've been married from 26 years .. And as the years passed by.. Our love started fading away..
Me: La mama a3arf inich mb yalsa itgooleen kilshay.. Sho istiwa? Sho 9idg istiwa?
Mom: Hmm .. Well 7beebty .. I think you're old enough to know the truth now.. Well you see your father and I were married for a very long time.. But as we grew up.. We created more distance between us.. One day, when you were only 8 years old, I discovered that your father was cheating on me with another women.. He was umm calling me but he called me by a different name..
Me: *Gasped* The .. The other women's name?
Mom: Haih .. Kint wayed m3a9ba w z3lanah w kint aba iyfahimny el salfa w 9ara5t 3alaih .. Bda2t a3a9ib w ubooch 3a9ab.. Galy ina mitzawjha w mayir'6a ini atkalam 3n 7rmata .. W 5abarny ina ma5abirch w u5wanich lain ma tikbiroun.. *long pause* After a few years your father found out he was having twins .. And they weren't mine. That was when our relationship crashed and burned.. We started to fight constantly because of  him not being here for you guys.. And me.. Then one day I got fed up and asked for a divorce.. He didn't care.. He just replied by saying "A5eiran iftakait minch" I fell to the floor and cried till I had to tears left to cry.. He just gave me a dirty look and stormed out of the room.. That was when my depression began.. I was depressed for 6 months *her eyes started to fill with unshed tears* 
Me: I'm so so sorry mama -
Mom: Don't be sorry 7beebty .. You didn't do anything wrong.. Getting back to what happened.. After I saw a few therapist .. I got much better .. That was until the day I found out that ..

*A7em* AlSalam3laikum




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Cliff Hanger ;) Mwahahahahahah =))
Please tell me how you think it is so far and sorry if there are any mistakes.

NOTE: This is a fictional story 
*This story is a fictional story with a few real life events*