Dear Diary - Part 3B

Dear Diary,

Where was I? Oh ya .. When I looked up it was ....


















7MOOODD!!!!! M7md is my cousin who lived in London because he studies there. I didn't see him in years! M7md and I used to be best friends when we were kids. We used to do everything together, we were inseparable. Whenever we played games we would always be partners, he was my partner in crime =)) I remember this one time, we sneaked into the kitchen late at night and stole a box of chocolates and cookies :') Then when we grew up into our teens he we went our separate ways.. Only seeing each other sometimes during the Friday family yam3ah. Soon after that he went to study in a college in London and I didn't see him since!

Me: 7MOOOODDIIIII!!!!!!
M7md: SHAAMOOOSSSTTTIIIII!!!!!!!
Me: 7moood when did youu come backk?!
M7md: Hmm 2 days ago
Me: W laishh mat5abernii!!?? I miss youuu!!
M7md: Sorry I've been busyy.. Miss youu too 7beebtyy <3

Me and 7mood talked for a bit, catching up on everything that happened in the past few years. M7md salam 3la my brothers w left because he had to go to some meelas 3nd his friends.

It was soon time for lunch, my mom and brothers already started because I was talking to Maryoom and Shammooh. We talked for 10 minutes only because Maryooom had to go since her flight was about to board.

I entered the dining room to find my brother 7mdan sitting next to .........................................
3BDULLAH! Yes 3bdulla. Shit I forgot that he said that his friend is coming over for lunch.. But I didn't know it was 3bdulla as in  My 3bdulla. Wait what? He isn't My 3bdulla! What am I saying :s I quickly realized that I was in a slightly revealing dress and so I quickly ran upstairs and got a sweater then went down to have lunch. Lunch was a bit awkward but it wasn't so bad. Me and 3bdulla made quick chat, he asked about college and gave me advice on some of the teachers (since he is in the same college as me)

When lunch was done my mother asked me why I ran upstairs and I explained to her that my dress was a bit revealing and so I wanted to cover up a bit even though I'm not mit7ajba .. I wear an open 3baya when I go out just for the sake of people not gossiping. Gosh I don't understand why people do that! Y3ny it's my life can't they mind their own business? The only reason why I actually bother wearing a 3ba isn't because of my fathers reputation, I couldn't care less about him, but it's about my mother. She always advised me to wear a 3ba because of the 5rfan in this country and because it's respectable to the Islamic culture. I'm planning to wear Sheilah when I feel that it's the right time. I honestly hate it when people just wear a Sheilah for their Sm3ah and not because of Allah. In my opinion it only counts when you wear it 7g rabkum w mb 7g sm3atkum. Anyways I'm going off topic..!

At around 4pm my brothers told me if I want to go out for icecream (their treat) and of course since it is food and ICECREAM I couldn't say no :$ I went in 5looofs Ferrari Enzo with Fahood while 7mdan, Saif and 3bdulla went in 7mdan's Mercades AMG G-65. I was still surprised that they allowed me to go with them while 3bdulla was there.. Usually they wouldn't allow me to even speak or even be in the same room as their friends.. Elmuhum we went to Baskin Robbins and I told the man I want a tub of Chocolate icecream for Mamatii w A large cone of pralines and cream. When I said that I wanted A large cone 3bdullah laughed and said "Inti ta54ein large?! Keif bitigdireen it5al9eena?! :O"  Then Saifo joked and said "3baido inta mat3arfha takil 7g 3aylah 6 ash5a9 =))" I replied by saying "Ha-Ha-Ha -_- Very funny Saifo" Then 5loof defended me by saying "Sho feeha inzain 5lha takil kithir ma tba bel3afya 3laihaa :*" I hugged 5loof and said "Heih sho feeha? Abaa akil keiifffiiii" Then I stuck my tongue out :P I heard 3bdulla laugh and I blushed furiously. I forgot that he was even here! I immediately shot him a glare to not make anything suspicious.

When we came back home I gave my mom her icecream and went to sit by the beach alone. I kept on thinking about my life and how messed up it is .. Growing up without a dad did have some effects on me but I was glad I had my brothers and mom because without them and their support I honestly don't know how I would've survived. Diary let me tell you something about myself, I am not one of the daloo3a girls who are spoiled to death and only care about their appearance and guys. No. I am an independent women, I always worked hard in school in order to make my mother proud. I don't depend on the maids on everything, I like to help out sometime you know what I mean? Also, I don't see myself as better than anyone else, I like to treat everyone with respect. In addition to that, I like to see the best in everyone no matter what I heard about them. So far you might think that I am optimistic and such but you don't know me. You don't know what I did, what I've been through. I am disgusted in myself. I am disgusted in what made me the way I am today. But.. But I don't regret who I am today. Yes I am stronger but I have my weak points. Overtime my dear diary, overtime you will discover the real me, but for now, you will go through my everyday life and will be a part of me. I will tell you things I haven't ever told anyone. Not even the girls. You know .. I don't usually share personal matters with anyone .. I'm a secretive person. Soon, you will know about what made me .. Me.

I was thinking for so long I didn't even notice that the sun has already set and it was dark.. Very dark. I decided to have a quick walk by the beach before I go back to the house. As I was walking I heard someone walking fast behind me.. I started getting scared so I picked up the pace.. I was practically running.. "STOPP! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! STOP RUNNING!! I WONT HURT YOU!!" I heard the man that was chasing me say. I looked back and it was .....................................................................................................................