Random..2

I got inspired when listening to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perry and James Morrison & Nelly Furtado's Broken Strings and lastly The Script by Breakeven

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You left me all alone .. Abandoned me when I needed you most.. You left and you took my heart with you.. I can't believe I can't say you are mine..

What happened to us?
What happened to forever?
What happened to our future?
What happened to "You're the one" ?
What happened to the promises?
What happened to all we've been through?
What happened to I won't give up?
What happened?

You told me lies and being the idiot I am, I believed you.
I learnt my lesson. It took me so long to accept what happened.. Then history repeated itself.
If you really wanted to be a part of my life, you would have been there. I shouldn't have bothered with you since you didn't make an effort to stay.
I thought that you were the best part of me. That you brightened my world and made it better. You are doing great while I'm torn into pieces.
I kept on acting like it was nothing when in reality, it was breaking my heart bit by bit.
You broke me, tore me down yet I still went back to you.
I feel like a complete idiot for missing you.
Am I really that easy to forget?
Why do I worry about you when you don't give a sh*t about me?
I'm doing okay until I remember you.
As you are walking away.. Please look back on more time.. Just long enough to remind you that I am falling apart.. And you're the reason.
I created the distance to see how much you cared.. Turns out I mean nothing to you.
Do you even still think about me?
I tried my best, you didn't appreciate it, I blamed myself but it's your fault, not mine.
Beneath my smile is a broken heart.
I felt so comfortable around you, even though I didn't know what your intentions were.
Saying goodbye was so hard, harder than shutting you away all of a sudden. I wonder if it is the fear of losing someone I love.

I thought it would be the end of the world.. But hey I am still living.
You aren't who I thought you were but it's better earlier then later.
Screw you I am better than this.
I shouldn't waste my time on someone who doesn't deserve it.
6aaafff to all the sh*t that has happened eh?
It seemed like then end .. But it is a new beginning.. A better one :D
When one door closes, another one opens 9a7?
I'm not going to be sat that it is over, I am going to be glad that it happened sooner.
I loved you, you hurt me, I am moving on, end of story.
What happened is making me stronger, better and wiser.
I would rather be alone than being with someone who makes me feel that way.
I regretted some stuff, I made memories and now I am better.
I don't need you. I have myself :$

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together" - Unknown
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3EEIIIDDKKUUMM MBAARRAAAKK MY LOVELY READERSS <3

I just want to thank my amazing friends who stay with me and help me through think and thin.. You guys are amazing sisters to me <3

I suggest you listen to the songs :P

Random..1

As a child, we were told stories about a happy ending. The stories we were told ended with "and they lived happily ever after" But we live in the real world, perfect endings don't exist, those are just made up fairy tales.  We were told that dreams came true. But do they? Do they really? What happens after the happily ever after? What happens after your dreams come true? What happens after the prince marries the princess or the wicked witch gets defeated?

In life, we go through ups and downs, lefts and rights to get to the final destination.We are all different in different ways, the one thing we have in common is that we are all human, we make mistakes, we have dreams and goals, we have happy and sad moment, we love and we lose but that is life. We all have something we want to keep in the dark and move on but in order to do that we have to accept it. Shit happens but life goes on. We have to let the past make us better and not bitter.

We spend so much time living life, yet not enough time thinking about what are we doing alive. Think about the meaning of life, the purpose of our existence, who is responsible for our creation and what happens when we leave. If you don't want to think about where you came from, at least think about where you are going to go when it's all over. We live, we die then we turn to bones. Wrong. After the grass dies, the rain arrives and it regrows. 

Being happy doesn't mean being perfect, it means that we looked passed the imperfections which turn to perfections. Everything happens for a reason, we aren't in control of the future but we are in control of how we handle it. We wouldn't know our strengths if we didn't have any weaknesses. Only after our suffering will we be able to honestly realize how strong we are, we then realize how much we can handle before we break.

Announcement

Dear Readers,

I want to start my new story which is a continuation of Dear Diary but it will be about the married life of Shamsa, Shamma, Maryam and their husbands. The only problem that isn't allowing me to start the story7 is that I can't think of a name for the story :'( !  The story won't be in a Dear Diary form whereas it will be in different POV (points of view) I would have started the continuation earlier but I need a name for the story before writing it.

Please comment bellow the name(s) you have in mind.. Thankk youu in advance <3

Dear Diary - Finale

Dear Diary,


Today is our engagement day! I am a nervous wreck! Everything looks so beautiful and perfect except me. I feel like I look like a clown :'( Everyone says I look gorgeous but I don't believe them. Shamma and I decided that we should make a huge engagement instead of making a big wedding. Ajalna 2 weeks after the original date. Shamma looks absolutely breathtaking in her dress

I decided on wearing a very simple dress because big dresses and me don't mix. Besides, I love the simplicity of my dress. 

It was time to go down. I am shaking! Me and Shammami are holding hands while going down and Maryoom and Hanood are fixing our dresses from time to time. We made our way to the kousha and I see my mom, 3bdulla's mom, Shamma's mom and M7md's mom crying tears of joy which made tear up but I had to swallow my tears. We did our wedding/melcha in Trade Center. We decided on keeping the melcha very simple. We invited 1000 people which was divided between the 4 families x_x  The kousha looked so cute

"Alf el 9alat w el salam 3laik ya 7beeb Allah M7mad" "Kololololoooosshh" "koolloolloolooleeiii"

The men entered, my eyes directly landed on 3bdulla, he looked me right in the eye and grinned that boyish smile of his, I immediately blushed and smiled. He looked hot with a capital H! He was dreamy in his crisp white kandoora and '36ra, wearing a black bisht and 3gal.. That man is mine.. He is officially my man.

3bdulla and M7md walked a bit too fast to the kousha, their parents giggled and told them to slow down. By the time they reached, me and Shamma's faces were as read as a tomato. My grandfather kissed my forehead then barakly, followed by 7mdan, then 5leefa, he said "Mbrook my baby girl, I love you" I could have sworn I saw his eyes water. Saifo came to me and said "Allah iy3een 3bood 3laich.. A9lan kaif 7abach ana madry" I looked at him and fake smiled then replied "7saby wyak b3dain :)" he said "Mbrook 7beebty ;*" Then Fahood came w said mbrook. After him the rest of the men came then finally 3baaddiii <3 He kissed my forehead and said "Mbroook 3laich anaa ya 7beebat galbyy <3" I got so shy I didn't even think it was possible to be that shy :P

3bdulla kept nagging and asking when can we leave while I was nagging because I wanted to eat and dance. Shamma and M7md were sitting next to us and I heard them talking about the same thing. After what seemed like hours, my mom came and told us to cut the cake.. We cut the cake then both 3bdulla and M7md put some cake and frosting on our nose and cheek ;p M7md's sisters and Maryoom were telling the men to eat the cake on cheek just to embarrass us w hayail masti7aw w they ate it! Then 3badii whispered in my ears "You taste delicious" I just melted on my spot right then and there.

Me, Shamma, Maryoom and our Husbands (we were still getting used to saying that) decided to go on our honeymoon together to ..............................................................................

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TO BE CONTINUED IN MY NEXT STORY...!!!!!!!

HELP! I can't think of a name for my next storyy :'( ! It will be about the married life of the three couples. It will also be in different POV (points of view) 

Please comment your opinion and thoughts .. Thankk youu <3 !!

Thankk youu all for the support, especially:

estupendo R

Bedazzled Dreams

_zaiin28

Flana AlX

Dear Diary - Part 10

Mom: Doctor.. Why doesn't she know him?
Doctor: Emm I am sorry to say this but she lost her memory of the last month. Her mind will be stuck on a specific day we will have to find out for ourselves -
5leefa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
7mdan: 5loof hid a39abik 5al el rayal eykamil
Doctor: Umm you see when she fainted and hit her head, it caused a serious concusion in her brain, but the good news is that there is a chance for her to recover her memory, it might take time but there is a chance. She might be able to remember bits and pieces but not a lot.
My mother sat down and silently wept while praying to God. The stranger look at the doctor, stunned by what he is hearing.
Me: Mama I have to go home I'm starting college tomorrow and it is going to be my first day so I don't want to be late!
Fahad: Doc.. Doc what is she talking about?
Doctor: Her mind is set on the day before starting college .. What day was that?
The Stranger: The 20th of September
My family looked at him in question..
The Stranger: That was the day before I met her and bumped her car
Me: WHO is he and WHAT is he talking about?! Someone please explain to me what is happening?!

Dear Diary, 


This was the conversation between the doctor:

Mom: Doctor.. Why doesn't she know him?
Doctor: Emm I am sorry to say this but your daughter might have forgotten completely what happened today, and some days will be a bit hazy.. Fortunately, if you tell her about it and talk her through the day, she will be able to remeber. About the young man over here, she will be able to remember him tomorrow or the day after but it can take up to a week.
5leefa: HA4A SHO YALIS IY5ARBI6 ?!
7mdan: 5loof hid a39abik 5al el rayal eykamil
Doctor: Umm you see when she fainted and hit her head, it caused a concussion in her brain, but the good news is that there is a chance for her to recover her memory fully. By that I mean is that she will be able to remember everything that has happened and her memories won't be a blur.
My mother sat down and silently wept while praying to God.
The doctor excused himself and said he will come and check up on me later.
Me: 5loof mumkin itgooleeli sho istiwa?
5leefa: I .. I don't know.. Yaiti el bait after you went out with your friend w yalsa it9ee7een.. We looked at you and you had a bruised face.. We rushed to go to your room bs you locked the door and kept crying.. We tried to talk to you and asked you what happened but you didn't reply.. After a while we heard you gasping and cried loudly so me and 3bdulla said that they we will break the door.. You didn't answer and so we did.. We found you with a bunch of pills in your hand.. 3bdulla took it away from you.. Mama came in and saw us umm crying.. She cried with us.. You .. You tried to killed yourself.. How could you do that to us?! How could you do that to me?! You are my only sister and you were about to leave me?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME YOU KNOW I NEED YOU!
Saif: 5LEEFA LAT9ARI5 3L BNAYAH!
My mom was crying her eyes out.
5leefa: I .. I already lost Shai5a .. I can't lose you ..
The whole room began crying except 3bdulla..

Shai5a used to be 5leefa's twin, they were inseparable, one day Shai5a went out driving and on her way back home she got into a car accident. She was rushed to the hospital but she lost too much blood and passed away.. 5leefa was the most who was affected because they were so close. That happened  3 years ago. Shaikha was my role model, she was the prettiest, kindest and smartest person I know. She was a strong women respected and loved by everyone. She had the purest heart and an infectious laugh. It's impossible to be sad in her presence. When she passed away.. It was like a part of us died with her.. She passed away a month from her wedding.. Her fiance swore to never marry after her and soon fled the country </3 Allah Yramha w Yi'3firlha

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After 2 days I fully recovered my memory.. I was resting when 3bdulla came in and sat with my mom.. They were talking and I was listening to their conversation..

3bdulla: 5alty
Mom: Halla 7beeby
3bdulla: 5alty ab'3y a6lib minch 6alab
Mom: 2amer
3bdulla: 5alo ana 3mry 26 w fee sin el zawaj .. Ab'3y atzawaj
Mom: Ha4e el sa3ah el mbarakah!
3bdulla: Ana mramis el walda w ubooy w hum mwaf8ein .. Ab'3y atzawaj Shamsa
Mom: Ana kint 7assa !! Ana mwaf8a bs is2al binty
3bdulla: Inshallah 5alo <3 Bs 5alha ti6la3 min el mstashfa w ana ba56ibha :D
Mom: Inshallah :')


Shocked was an understatement. I was surprised. 3bdulla really loves me. He wasn't going to play with my feelings like.. Never mind.. 3bdulla is going to be mine! Mine! Just for me! I am ecstatic. I almost jumped up from bed and did my happy dance but then I would blow my cover :$

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Once I got out of the hospital 3bdulla proposed and gave me the most beautiful ring

After one week is our engagement. I wanted to extend it to 2 weeks but 3bdulla may6ee3 .. He wants it to be as soon as possible =))

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Although I missed Maryoom's engagement she said it is okay because it was just the engagement. Her wedding is in 3 months.

I almost forgot !! Shamma and M7md are getting engaged on the same day as me :D We wanted to make a double wedding and engagement ;;) 

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I will just write 1-3 more parts for Dear Diary

I know I am rushing the story but I am going to write another story of the continuation of their married life. It will be in different points of view and it won't be as a dear diary format.   What do you think?

Important..!!

Dear Readers,


I would like your opinion on what would you like to happen next..


The First Option:

Mom: Doctor.. Why doesn't she know him?
Doctor: Emm I am sorry to say this but she lost her memory of the last month. Her mind will be stuck on a specific day we will have to find out for ourselves -
5leefa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
7mdan: 5loof hid a39abik 5al el rayal eykamil
Doctor: Umm you see when she fainted and hit her head, it caused a serious concusion in her brain, but the good news is that there is a chance for her to recover her memory, it might take time but there is a chance. She might be able to remember bits and pieces but not a lot.
My mother sat down and silently wept while praying to God. The stranger look at the doctor, stunned by what he is hearing.
Me: Mama I have to go home I'm starting college tomorrow and it is going to be my first day so I don't want to be late!
Fahad: Doc.. Doc what is she talking about?
Doctor: Her mind is set on the day before starting college .. What day was that?
The Stranger: The 20th of September
My family looked at him in question..
The Stranger: That was the day before I met her and bumped her car
Me: WHO is he and WHAT is he talking about?! Someone please explain to me what is happening?!

The Second Option:

Mom: Doctor.. Why doesn't she know him?
Doctor: Emm I am sorry to say this but your daughter might have forgotten completely what happened today, and some days will be a bit hazy.. Fortunately, if you tell her about it and talk her through the day, she will be able to remeber. About the young man over here, she will be able to remember him tomorrow or the day after but it can take up to a week.
5leefa: HA4A SHO YALIS IY5ARBI6 ?!
7mdan: 5loof hid a39abik 5al el rayal eykamil
Doctor: Umm you see when she fainted and hit her head, it caused a concussion in her brain, but the good news is that there is a chance for her to recover her memory fully. By that I mean is that she will be able to remember everything that has happened and her memories won't be a blur.
My mother sat down and silently wept while praying to God.
The doctor excused himself and said he will come and check up on me later.
Me: 5loof mumkin itgooleeli sho istiwa?
5leefa: I .. I don't know.. Yaiti el bait after you went out with your friend w yalsa it9ee7een.. We looked at you and you had a bruised face.. We rushed to go to your room bs you locked the door and kept crying.. We tried to talk to you and asked you what happened but you didn't reply.. After a while we heard you gasping and cried loudly so me and 3bdulla said that they we will break the door.. You didn't answer and so we did.. We found you with a bunch of pills in your hand.. 3bdulla took it away from you.. Mama came in and saw us umm crying.. She cried with us.. You .. You tried to killed yourself.. How could you do that to us?! How could you do that to me?! You are my only sister and you were about to leave me?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME YOU KNOW I NEED YOU!
Saif: 5LEEFA LAT9ARI5 3L BNAYAH!
My mom was crying her eyes out.
5leefa: I .. I already lost .............................................................

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PLEASE VOTE ON WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO WRITE

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You can contact me on Twitter and Ask.Fm

Just click on the link and it will show you my profile

Dear Diary - Part 9B

Dear Diary, 

It was him. Yes him! How dare he?! And to think he would have kept his promise! I should have known that he is incapable of keeping a promise. I am angry, no I am infuriated! How can he do this to me? Never in my wildest dreams I would have thought of seeing him like this .. With who he was. I can feel the angry rising and my blood boiling. Screw this I am not going to leave the restaurant because of him and some bimbo barbie. Hmm I have a plan but first let me tell Shamma. 

I angrily whispered: Shamma!

Imitating my whisper: Shamsa!

Me: It's him.

Shamma: Who him?

Me: Him.

Shamma: Who is him? The guy you told me about? What's his name? Umm 3bdulla?

Me: No. Him.

Shamma followed the line I was staring at and saw him but she didn't know who he was.

Me: That b***ard ! I hate him! And he brings his little b***h with him too?! Mayisi7i 3a wayha!

Shamma slowly connected the dots then gasped.

Shamma: That.. That is 3my 9ala7 !

I replied blatantly: Yes. 

Shamma: With his wife..!

I cringed: Yes. 

Shamma: Shamoos let's go to another restaurant..

Me: I have lost my appetite.

Shamma: Okay let's go shopping!

Me: Wait.

Shamma: Shamoos don't do anything stupid that you will regret later. I can see you forming a plan in your head. Stop it! Don't let him get to you! He isn't worth it. Let's just go and do some therapy shopping to get your mind off of him.

Me: 9ibry.

After all those years, I would have never even imagined seeing him again.. I thought he left.. And for good this time. Guess I was wrong. That a$$***e will see. He will regret the day he ever came back and his wife too :) This. Is. War.

I walked up to him, more like stomped actually and slammed my hand on the hard wooden table. As much as it hurt I didn't care. He looked so shocked and surprised to see me. 

Me: You sick bas***d ! How fking dare you bring her here? How dare you even step foot in this country?! You come here and bring HER WITH YOU! I HATE YOU! I HAATTTTEEE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! 

Him: Shamsa lat9ar5ein .. We are in a public place.

Me: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AND BOSS ME AROUND HAA?! WHO!? TELL ME WHO?!

He begins to slightly raise his voice: I am your father inzain?! T7tarmainy '3a9ban 3laich.

Me: Hah you think you are my father? Well guess what I don't have a father. To me you are dead. You never exsisted. You haven't been in my life for the past 7 YEARS! AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL YOUR SELF A FATHER?! MY FATHER!

Him: SHAMSA I9KITY A7SANLICH W I7TARMAY ELLAY AKBAR MINCH!

Me: CHUB! After all the sh*t we have been through, you think you can just come here and everything will be okay? You never and I repeat NEVER showed up at my birthdays, celebrations, graduations and everything that has to do with me. To do with us! Me, my mom and my brothers! You didn't even care about hurting your children! You didn't care about your wife that you have been with for 26 years! You didn't give a shit about leaving us for some gold-digging b*tch ! You didn't care about the divorce. You were happy about it. I loathe you. I detest you. I feel sorry for your children. I wish you rot in hell. You and your wife.

Her *his wife* : Umm matarmisein 3an zoujy chi inzain?     She looked and talked like a sl*t. 

Me: YEL3AN SHAKLICH EL 5AYIS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU LITTLE F***ER?! YOU JUST MARRIED HIM FOR HIS MONEY! YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE HIM YAL G*7BA !

My father turned red with furry and he did it. He slapped me. And so I slapped his wife and left. As I was leaving I yelled "GO DIE YOU FILTHY PIECES OF SH*T" Thank god that they were sitting outside. His slap hurt.. But no where near the pain of how I felt. Shamma was watching the whole thing and her mouth formed the perfect 'O'  

Me: Shamma I'm leaving.

Shamma just silently followed me to the main entrance. She asked the valet guy to bring my car.Once we entered that car I blew up. I burst into tears. How could he? How could he lay a hand on me? I regret not beating the living sh*t out of his wife. All throughout the conversation she had a little smirk as he was defending her. Just as I was about to blow up she said that remark of hers and that was when my anger flew through the roof and I yelled. I can feel my throat tighten and I know I lost my voice from all the screaming. Thinking about what happened made me burst into a million more tears. I feel furious, ashamed, depressed, aggravated and most of all.. Disgusted. I am disgusted and ashamed to call that man my father. I am disgusted and ashamed to be part of that family. I feel disgusted and ashamed to call her my step mother. I am disgusted and ashamed. Maybe I am disgusting? Maybe I am the shameful one? I don't know. I went home with a bruised cheek. Once I entered the house I saw my family including 3bdulla sitting in the meelas in front of me, I didn't bother saying hello, I just ran to my room weeping. 

I can hear them banging on my door.. Asking me what happened. I just ignored them.. Shamma offered to sleep over but I rejected her offer. I dropped her home and came to my house. The house he used to live in. After what seemed to be hours of them trying to ask me what happened and what is wrong.. I burst into tears once again.. I think I was loud because my brothers threatened that if I don't open the door they are going to break it down. I didn't care. I continued silently crying my eyes out till the point that there were no more tears to cry. After 10 more minutes I heard a loud bang. They broke the door down. They entered the room shocked by what they saw.. I can see their eyes practically falling out of their sockets. It took them a few seconds to comprehend what I was about to do.. I was about to overdose.. 

3bdulla ran to me followed by the rest of them.. He aggressively took the pills from my hand and all of them started yelling at me at first the they started crying. Yes them. The guys were crying. My mom came in the room to ask what the fuss was about and when she saw us she cried her eyes out. She didn't even know the reason but the sight of us made her cry. Fahad went to my mom to try and calm her down while the rest of the guys were bombarding me with a million questions.. Slowly the world started spinning and the words were slurry.. After I heard a loud thud everything went black.

I woke up because of the pounding pain in my head.. I tried to move my hand up to mu head to massage it but there was an IV hoked on my hand. I am in the hospital with my family and a strange guy surrounding me. Once they saw me awake they came to me and started asking me loads of questions.. I was so confused and when I tried to talk nothing came out.. Why am I here? Who is this guy? What happened? When did I go to the hospital? How did I get here? A million question were rushing through my head.

The doctor came in and started asking me questions.. I was able to answer some of them and not all..

He asked me: Shamsa do you know who that is?  *he pointed at the stranger*

Me: No .. Am I supposed to know him?

Everyone except the doctor looked shocked and confused. The stranger looked so hurt and pained. Why? 

Mom: Doctor.. Why doesn't she know him?

Doctor: Emm I am sorry to say this but ....................................................................................................

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SORRY FOR THE LANGUAGE X_X
This took an unexpected turn.. I was going to say that she saw 3bdulla with another girl but I wanted to make the story a bit more interesting :P

This might be one of my longest posts.... Thoughts and opinions please?